We are in the crazy season of 3 kids, 3 years old and under.

We knew we wanted several kids, but we always pictured we’d plan out the perfect age gaps to make life easier (LOL). So when we found out we were having twins, you can imagine how much that threw off our plans. Being outnumbered by our kids means the needs are great in our home. Our toddler wants attention, our babies want to eat or sleep or just pooped…We find the hardest thing is addressing our needs as individuals and also finding the time to have intentional time for just us.

Here are some things we are learning are essential to sustain our marriage, family, and individuality:

• Find time with God: it doesn’t have to be a perfect morning with a quiet house, cup of coffee and your devotions. It can be in the car worshipping with your kids, a few minutes before bed with your spouse, or saying a quick prayer for the patience you need to tell your toddler to go to sleep for the 12th time. He is always present and will meet us where we are at.
• Prioritize intentional time with your spouse: sometimes that's not leaving the house and it looks like recapping the day with no screens when the kids go to sleep. But sometimes it’s also finding friends or family that you trust to help so that you can go out with your partner on a date and discover each other outside the home again!
• Allow and encourage the space and time for each of you to do the things you love…alone & with no guilt. We are always better partners and parents when we have time to recharge.
• Find traditions and rhythms in your family that allow for connection and FUN! Our kids are still really young, but we’ve already started seasonal traditions to look forward to and weekly rhythms of predictability that we can enjoy together. (Today it was cider & donuts after church)

These lessons are still a work in progress and are evolving as our kids grow. It helps us to know we are on the same team, and seeing each other become better parents and partners is a great gift to our marriage!