Our relationship was always long distance before we got married so it helped us to prioritize getting to learn and love the depths of each others minds, pursue communication intentionally, and not get distracted by being physically near each other. This led us to discover two of our favorite check in questions that we ask each other frequently:

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1.) How did you feel most loved (in general, or by me) today?​
2.) How can I love you better moving forward/next time/ tomorrow/etc?​
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These check in questions allowed us to surprise each other as we got to know what truly brightened the other’s world and often times, it surprised both of us! Sometimes the answers were as simple as, “I loved when you reached out to hold my hand today,” or as unexpected as “I felt most loved when you came home and wanted to talk with me.” Sometimes the answers seemed almost too mundane, but those are the moments when we recognize how to love each others hearts in such intimate ways, that either build the foundation of our marriages or fill in the cracks that have formed over time. ​
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Try out these questions and find those tender moments of the day to see what wording makes the most sense for your marriage communication!
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Don’t forget question 2! It showed desire and immediate action steps to put into practice the intention to change and continue to grow in your ability to love your spouse even better next time!