Part 3: Beware of idols
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But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
— Galatians 5:22-23
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Happiness is not a fruit of the Spirit. Joy is, but happiness is not. Your marriage brings joy to the heart of God, and God blesses marriages that put Him at the center with joy. But happiness? Happiness is fleeting and circumstantial. It never lasts.
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​Do you ever wonder why you can’t just stay happy? Because it’s impossible. It can’t be done. No matter how hard you try you cannot force yourself to stay happy forever. Which leads us to our next point:
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​It’s not your job to make your spouse happy. ​
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If it’s impossible for you to keep yourself happy day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, imagine the futility of trying to do that for someone else. Just like Sisyphus pushing that dumb rock up the hill, you may get it close to the top, but it’s going to come rolling right back down. The best thing you can do at that point is just get out of the way before it crushes you at the bottom.
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Remember this: your value and identity, and that of your spouse, is found in Jesus and Jesus alone. Your identity is NOT found in each other. Root yourself in who God says you are and who He created you to become. Your joy comes from knowing Him. When we look to each other for our value and identity we make each other idols. And we all know how bad of a thing that can be.